Today I thought I’d do something fun and a bit different by sharing a part of a book I am writing.  I felt this portion was pretty relevant to this blog.  It comes from the intro chapter.

______________________________________

I wished it was raining.

I was on my way to college graduation rehearsal.  If it was raining, I would maybe have had an excuse for being late.  Instead it was sunny and traffic was thin.

Always late with few excuses.  Story of my life.

As I kicked my rusting Ford Taurus into high gear, the ringtone to my phone sounded off beside me.  Unknown caller.  Never answered calls from strangers.

About a minute later, I saw I had a voicemail sitting in my inbox.  Taking the phone in my free hand, I played the message.  It was from a Panera Bread I had just applied to.  They were calling to inform me they weren’t hiring at the time.  Panera is predominantly staffed by high school students, and they had just shot me down.

I was a week away from graduating college with a four year degree, and I just got rejected by Panera Bread.

Suddenly, I didn’t especially care about being late to rehearsal.  I didn’t really care about much of anything.  I simply wondered how I ended up in this current predicament.

See, I grew up seeing life as a checklist: be born, go to school, graduate school, go to college, graduate college, start a career, get married, have a few kids, retire, die.

If that isn’t a list to get excited about, I don’t know what is.  It started so easy.  I don’t even remember my birth.  The first thing I remember is running circles around my back yard.

As for school, it wasn’t exactly hard.  Some people cry on their first day of school.  Others are homeschooled and never experience that fear.  I went to public school and actually enjoyed most of it.  Oh sure, sixth grade was sort of awful, but besides that, I had lots of friends, I was involved in everything, and made all sorts of memories.  Best of all, once I made it through high school, I got to experience step three:

Graduation.

Imagine all your friends throwing parties at the exact same time.  There is punch, cake, those shiny little confetti pieces, and you get money from people you don’t even know.  It kind of made the whole “school” process worth it.  Best of all, I was free.  As I stood a high school graduate, I realized the rest of my life was before me.  It was time to choose a college which would lead to a career and all the other wonderful things on my life list.

The problem was I had to choose.

Not wanting to miss the next step in my life, I quickly chose a college and went.  It was fun, exciting, and completely not for me.  The next year, I would choose a different college and stick with it.  I learned a lot, made great friendships, and developed my skills as a writer.  Four years later, I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English (Writing).

Unfortunately, this is where the whole “life plan” train went completely off track, flipped on its side, crashed through a small town, and destroyed everything in its wake.

The only guarantee in life is that there are no guarantees in life.  I hate clichés, but it’s true.  I knew what I wanted to be going through college, and I thought I had a job lined up for my post-graduate life.  Apparently it didn’t matter.  I graduated jobless and flat broke with school loans knocking at my door like a visage of Death himself (assuming Death is male) .  I felt crippled, scared, and a tad bit lost.

And I couldn’t push on.  I couldn’t ignore what was happening.  All I could do was wonder how did I get here?

_____________________________________________

From there, the book acts as a guide of what NOT to do.  There’s many stories from many people that are included.

But here’s what you can get from this segment.  Life, more often than not, does not go as you plan it to go.  The best you can do is prepare for the worst and keep moving forward when things fall apart.

I’ll tell you right now, two years ago I wanted to just give up.  But I kept going.

Then things got worse.

And I kept going.

Now, two years after this whole ordeal happened, I say with great relief that I feel so much better about my life.  I’m still fighting to move forward.  I’m still struggling.

But I’m getting there.  And that’s enough to put a smile on my face.

Has your life’s plan ever ran straight into a metaphorical wall?  Have you ever been paralyzed by disappointment?  If so, feel free to share below.  Or, contact me about writing a guest post!  (Click here to get in touch)

(Welcome to the first ever guest post featured on This Blank Page.  I’m honored to have the very talented Bethany Suckrow share a little wisdom on life’s in-between-stages.  She has a fantastic site called She Writes and Rights that you should check out.  If you would like to write a guest post for This Blank Page, click here to send me a message….after reading the post below of course)

So you’re working a job you hate.

Okay, maybe “hate” is too strong a word.

Failure.  Such an ugly word.

No one wants to fail.  No one wants to be a failure.

This is what we fear.  We are so afraid that we won’t succeed.  That we’ll look back on our life and say “I failed.”

What could be worse?  What could be worse than wasting your one chance at life?  And so, this fear grows.  It plants roots in our soul like a weed that feeds off of doubt.  Our hope, our dreams, our very beliefs are choked to death by one thing:

Fear of failure.

If we try, we might fail.  The greater the goal, the greater the chance for failure.  So we sit back.  We take it easy.  We only do the things we absolutely know we can do.

The irony is, by avoiding failure, we end up failing.

The Fear Behind the Smile

As I’ve said before, I recently started a new job.  A job that actually uses the skills I developed in college.  A job that I’m not embarrassed to tell people about.  And it’s funny,  because as excited as I was about getting the job, I was scared to death about starting it.

For the first time in my life, I wondered if I was good enough for the job I had been hired to do.  I was afraid.

Afraid of failing.

And truth is, there was a part of me that didn’t want to go in my first day.  A part that kept saying it wasn’t going to work out.  That I should just stay where I was at.

I wondered why I was so afraid.

Here was a chance to prove myself, to show I wasn’t a failure, and I was scared to take it.  Even as I celebrated personal victory, I had this doubt in the back of my mind.

I had gained something which meant I now had something to lose.

The Turning Point

When you have nothing to lose, there’s little reason to be afraid.  A person who is losing doesn’t worry about losing.  They’re already doing that.

I realized I was afraid of failing because I was no longer failing.  The stakes had been raised.  There was something on the line.  My performance mattered.  My decisions mattered.

What Always Remains

If I’m going to be honest (and I try so hard to be), I’m still afraid of failing.  It’s been almost a month on the job, and there’s a tiny part of me that still wonders if I’m going to blow it.  I don’t know if it’s a feeling that ever stops.

The most famous of performers still get nervous before they go on stage.  Lawyers get worked up before a big court date.  A writer gets anxious when someone starts reading something he wrote.

But it’s not necessarily a bad things.

Like the parent who constantly thinks and worries about their child, they do so because their child means something to them.  This job means a lot to me.  I don’t want to mess it up.  I don’t want to fail.

And if I give it EVERYTHING I have, then I won’t.  Even if it doesn’t work out, and I go on to a different job, there is only one way I can fail:

If I stop.

If I give up.

With all of this I’ve realized maybe failure isn’t based on whether or not things go according to your plan.  Things rarely go how you plan them anyway.  Maybe failure is based solely on effort.

Either you did, or you didn’t.

In your life right now, are you succeeding?  Or failing?  Do you feel that fear?  Is there something at stake?  Is there a chance that maybe you can’t do whatever it is you’re doing?

If so, good.  Keep going.  In the end, even if it doesn’t work out like you thought, you will have succeeded.

(If you like this, share this)

Back in the late 90′s when the original Matrix was going into production, there were some serious budget concerns.  See, the Wachowski brothers (the guys who created the series) had only directed one movie before.

Their ideas and concepts were grand, but their experience was lacking.

So the Hollywood “powers-that-be” gave them about 12% of the budget that was being asked for.  What did the Wachowskis do?  Did they scale back their vision and compromise on the story they dreamed of telling?

Not a chance.

These sophomore directors took their ENTIRE budget and spent it on the opening scene.  Once they got it edited together as best they could, they took the ten minutes of footage and showed it to the producers.

Before you could say “I know kung-fu” the Wachowskis received all the money they had asked for and The Matrix was well on its way to reshaping western cinema.  And how did this happen?

Because two brothers with a dream went and made an amazing first impression.

In the Beginning

“A great first impression” has become a cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less important.  That same opening scene in The Matrix that won over the studio execs hooked millions of film goers into loving the rest of the movie.  If you took a moment, you could probably think of quite a few great movie openings.

You may not realize it, but those first few minutes shaped quite a bit of your attitude towards the rest of the film.

If a stand-up comedian’s first joke bombs, there is a good chance he will get zero laughs the rest of the night.  If his first joke is hilarious, then he has the audience in his pocket.  They have decided that this guy is funny and worth listening to.

It’s science…or psychology…or something.

The important thing is that it is true and it is a concept I have been trying to apply to my own life lately.

Winning the Crowd

See, I’ve been working on this book for a while (truth be told, it should have been finished by now), and there’s one part I keep coming back to.  Of all the chapters, it has been rewritten the most.  In case you haven’t guessed, it’s the intro.  I want it to be perfect.

Because I know my introduction chapter is everything.  Of all the chapters, it has to be the most universal.  It has to build trust.  It has to bring the reader’s guard down.  I want the audience to believe that somewhere beyond this opening is advice that they can benefit from and stories that will move them.

It’s tricky and intimidating, but if I nail it, there’s a good chance the reader will finish the whole thing.

If I blow the first impression, people might close the book right there and walk away.

Dead in the Water

Every year, hundreds of TV shows get cancelled.  Some of them are awful.  Others are actually quite fantastic.  Either way, most of them probably had mediocre first episodes.

So many shows fail to succeed simply because the first few episodes were average at best.  The episodes that follow are too little, too late.

On the flip side, shows that start off great are given leeway.  Even the best TV shows have a mediocre season in the mix (like season 2 of Friday Night Lights).   But because the audience knows how great it can be, because they have seen its potential, they ride out the rough times.

And the Same is True for You

The better impression you make earlier on, the more opportunity you’ll be given later.  I like to think most everyone has something they are great at, some sort of purpose written on their very soul.  First impressions are a chance to let that shine.  To show your potential.

If you fail coming out of the gates, it’s only going to make the future harder.  But don’t get scared or intimidated.  See, when you’re just starting off the expectations are about as low as they are ever going to get.

Why not go all out?

What do you have to lose?  Get started off right.  Take the world by surprise.  Make a great first impression in all that you do.

Have you ever wowed someone with a first impression?

After what seems to be an eternity, Instagram has landed on Android.  What is Instagram?  Only one of the hottest IOS apps out there.

But I’m sure you, being a blog-reading, internet savvy homosapien, already knew that.

And now it’s all mine which means I can take all sorts of artsy pictures and put them on the internet for all of my 15 followers to see.  Truthfully, I’m using it because all of the cool people I know use it (and I know a lot of cool people).

As I’ve begun my Instagramming, I’ve given myself a goal: to take at least one Instagram photo a day.

This may not seem that crazy, but as much as I love pictures, I have to force myself to take them.  Also, my life…not that interesting.

At all.

I was struggling on day two of having Instagram.  But as day three rolled around, I started seeing the world around me a bit differently.  I started thinking outside of the box (or 8 MP camera lens in this case).

Truth is, I think my life is more beautiful than I give it credit for.  And the same is probably true for your own life.

 

Loving Where You are Right Now

Maybe you’re waiting for the day when your life becomes interesting.  Maybe you think if I could just reach this point, then I will have a life worth talking about.

It’s good to have goals and dreams for the future.  But you can’t live life waiting for the future to happen.  You can’t spend your time telling people what you are going to do.  People are far more concerned with what you HAVE done and what you ARE doing.

Your life, in its current state, might not be good.  It might not be easy.  It may just suck all around.  You still have to live it.  One day, it will simply be a part of a grander story.  Do you want to look back at 2012 and see it as a wasted, uneventful void in your timeline?

There will never be another 2012.  The place you’re at, the decisions you are making, you will never get the opportunity to redo them.  So accept it.  Embrace the present.  Find the beauty, even in the pain.

Your Life is a Story

As I’ve begun to look at all the little details around me, trying to find daily Instagrams, I’ve realized something;  each piece of my life has a story behind it.  The different parts represent sentences, paragraphs, and chapters in the book of Timothy (not to be confused with the Biblical books).

To a stranger, the watch on your wrist might look tacky or old fashioned.  For you, it may be the last thing your dad gave you before passing away.

If you start seeing the reasons behind your life, the whole thing starts making a lot more sense.
If you stop to think how you got from point A to point B, you see there is a lot to learn.  And there is so much to remember.

And your life becomes a lot more unique.

It becomes infinitely more interesting.

The Life You Live

There’s a good chance I don’t know you.  I don’t know where you come from or what you’ve done.  But I can tell you this:

Your life is beautiful.

That may sound cheesy.  Okay, it is a little cheesy but whatever.  The fact that you are here, that you live, breath, and think is a miracle.  So many different factors and figures had to fall in place so YOU could be exactly where you are right now.

And that is a wonderful story in itself.

So I recommend appreciating your life daily.  Even when it hurts.  Take a moment to recognize where you are right now.  To appreciate the small details so easily overlooked.

As seemingly insignificant as today might be, it is still a part of your story.  Make it interesting.

And if you have a moment, take a picture.  Remember it.  Then move on.

(See that artsy picture up there ^^^.  That’s only a taste of my Instagramming.  To follow me on my picture perfect journey, find me @thetimsnyder.  If you don’t have Instagram, you can just follow me on Twitter.  If you don’t have Twitter, like my Facebook page.  If you don’t have Facebook, well, how do you even know how to use a computer?)

The time had come to get new pants.  Despite what I would tell myself every time I slip on my favorite pair of jeans, the denim was wearing thin.  Holes were forming.  You could say they were on their last legs (see what I did there?).

Of all the pants stores in the world, I have one favorite.  The location is in the Mall of America (aka The Disneyland of malls [i.e. a tourist trap]).  Generally speaking, it’s completely worth braving the crowds because my store has great looking threads for ridiculously cheap prices.  There was just one problem.

At some point since my last mall visit, my favorite store had closed.

This left me with two options.  I could continue to wear my comfortable jeans until they disintegrated like a vampire in the sun, or I could kick my butt into gear and see what the rest of the mall had to offer.

I chose the second option.  And as I walked the halls of the MOA, I realized something.

This is a lot like life.

Living Comfortably

It’s nice to be comfortable.  It feels good.  Lord knows people don’t buy Snuggies for their looks.  They buy them for comfort.

And it’s the way much of our world works.  We take the jobs that don’t challenge us.  We stick with the friends we already have.  We go to the same stores, stay in the same town, visit the same websites, only moving forward if we absolutely have to or if it’s really easy.

Why?  Failure.

Increasing the Chances of Failure

The greater the risk, the greater chance you have of complete failure.  It’s like walking out on a tree limb.  The further you get from the trunk, the more likely it is that the branch will snap and you will die.

It’s easier to kick a field goal than to go for the two point conversion.

It’s simpler to put your money in a savings account instead of investing it.

It’s hard to find a new job even though you’re miserable at your current one.  It’s scary to get out of the relationship you’re currently in even though that person is no good for you.

And really, this is all just a fear of the unknown.

You Think You Know But You Have No Idea

Before we even get out of our comfort zone, we start forming ideas of what the rest of the world is like.  Did you ever see the movie Blast from the Past?  The main character grows up in a bomb shelter during the Cold War.

Once he becomes an adult, the time has come to see the outside world.  He’s scared.  His parents are scared.  You see, they think the world was destroyed by nuclear war.  For all they know, the land is filled with mutants, zombies, and everything else.

That wasn’t the case.  No bombs ever dropped.  Were there dangers in the real world?  Yes.  Would it have been easier to stay in the bomb shelter?  Sure.  But that would have made for a very boring story.  The main character would have been settling for less.

Comfortability Comes with a Price

It’s something easily forgotten.  First class flights cost more than coach.  Luxury cars are pricey.  If you want to be comfortable, you’re going to pay for it.

Sitting in a chair all day, every day as you watch movies, eat potato chips, and drink soda will eventually make you fat and possibly give you type-two diabetes or a heart attack.

It’s harder to get of the chair.  It’s harder to chase you dreams.  You may fail.  But think of what you might find.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t end up finding a pair of jeans in the time I had.  I DID find a belt, a sweatshirt, and a few stores I will be returning to for clothes in the future.  These are places I probably would have never walked in if my favorite store hadn’t closed.

And lately in life, I find myself constantly being pushed out of my comfort zone.  It’s scary.  I wonder if I’m just going to end up failing.  But I’m trying my best to suck it up and push forward.  Because somewhere out there is something so much better.

It’s just waiting.

(Follow me on Twitter by clicking here.  I say wonderful things guaranteed to brighten your day.  And I promise to twit pic my jeans as soon as I get a new pair!)

The Academy Awards stands apart from other award shows.  Steeped in tradition, brimming with class and an old-fashioned mentality that is mostly lost in modern culture, this show doesn’t aim to please.  The Oscars simply does what it wants and everyone else is expected fall in line.

Because of this, criticism is thrown at the show year after year.  Why wasn’t this movie nominated?  How did that movie win?  Why have I never heard of any of these films?

I certainly don’t agree with every decision, but I can usually accept what goes down.  The same cannot be said about many people.  This year especially I read endless streams of bitter comments.

And as I attempted to bring reason and discussion to the chaos, I realized there was a lot to learn from The Academy Awards.  These are life lessons that I dare say can help you in your own journey.  If you have hopes of putting some sort of art in front of people one day, be prepared.

Despite What People Say, They Want the Popularity Contest

The big thing this year was that The Artist won so many freaking awards.  It was a small, silent film.  A silent film!  It’s shot in black and white!  Who the heck watches silent movies with no color?

The Academy does.

If people were arguing that The Tree of Life was a superior example of art and beauty, that would be one thing.  But for many, that’s not the problem.

It’s more like “Why isn’t Fast Five or Transformers 3 nominated for best picture?  Those movies are awesome!”

Listen, I loved Fast Five.  I thought it was the best in the series.  But if someone tried to tell me it was the best made movie of 2011, I would lose all respect for their critical opinion.  If you want a popularity contest, feel free to watch the MTV Movie Awards, where mediocrity is celebrated.

People Don’t Like Being Told They are Wrong

The thing about picking a winner in a contest, it means there has to be a loser.  For sports this is much easier.  Teams compete with one beating the other.  With movies, music, people, etc., a winner is chosen.

It doesn’t matter how qualified the panelists are.  When you are ignoring someone’s favorite movie, that person doesn’t care how much more you know or understand about film.  In the eyes of many, by choosing a the best in a category, it’s as if they are saying all other movies suck.

This is ridiculous.

Rather than accept that maybe they’re wrong, many are quick to go on the defensive.  The Academy Awards could (and sometimes does) provide great opportunity for debate and discussion.  Sadly, it usually just causes people to attack anyone who disagrees.

People Will Attack What They Don’t Understand

Let’s say George has never heard of The Artist.  He watches The Academy Awards, hoping that Moneyball is going to clean house.  By the time the show ends, he is up in arms ready to throw his TV out the window.

Why?

Because The Artist sucks!

Has George seen The Artist?  Of course not.  He doesn’t need to.  If it were any good, surely he would have heard of it, what with him being so cultured and hip.  Therefore, The Artist is a terrible movie and Moneyball didn’t win Best Picture because the voters are stupid and hate Brad Pitt.

Is there any logic to this reaction?  No.  But that doesn’t stop people from experiencing it.  Society seems to prove time and time again, you don’t have to actually know anything about something to hate it.

Deep Down, People Still Want Validation

Say what you want, The Oscars is the be-all-end-all award show in the film world.  Do movie trailers ever brag about what MTV Movie Awards they won?  No.  You know what a Golden Globe is?  It’s the award you talk about if you didn’t win the Oscar.

Deep down, almost every actor, writer, producer, composer, director, designer, and make-up artist wants that golden-man statue.  In the same way, a part of us wants our favorite movie to win even if we say it doesn’t matter.

Why?  Because it gives us proof that we aren’t crazy.  It shows that we have superior talent or taste.  It gives an irrefutable argument.  You may hate fantasy.  It’s quite possible that you couldn’t care less about JRR Tolkien.

But no one can take away the fact that Lord of the Rings: Return of the King won eleven Academy Awards (including Best Picture).

An award is an achievement.  It’s something to be remembered by.  It is a goal, a dream, a hope.  Things like these bring out a torrent of emotions, good and bad, all of them driving us in one direction or the other.

Some may say The Academy Awards ruins movies.  I say it sustains them.

And it gives us a lot to learn from.  So if you’re going to argue, educate yourself first.  Don’t be overly defensive.  Lastly, if you’re hating on The Artist but haven’t seen it, try watching it first.  Okay?

(Why yes, the title is taken from the lyrics of a Brandi Carlile song)

Do you ever think about how small you used to be?  Whether you’re seven feet tall or four, you were once a fraction of your current size.

The body you walk in now is the same one you crawled in so many years ago.  And it’s crazy because you don’t really notice it as it happens.  You can’t tell that your hands are a tenth of a centimeter longer than they were the previous day.  The change is so slow and gradual that it plays tricks with your mind.

But you feel it.  Even if you can’t see it, you feel it in your bones.

It’s called growing pains*.  I remember the burning in my shins more than anything else.  Your body is literally stretching itself out, pushing against the very boundaries that contain it.  The cycle continues on and off for years until one day, you’re fully grown.

The pants you wear aren’t going to become too short.  The shoes on your feet won’t become too small.  It’s over.

Except it’s not.  Truth is, that was the easy part.

It’s Time to Grow Up for Real

When you’re young, your mind is sponge soaking up all sorts of stuff.  Much like your body, it grows naturally.  Slowly but surely, you become a real person with real thoughts, feelings, and needs.  But reaching maturity isn’t the end of the journey.  It’s the beginning.

Once you’ve done the learning and the growing, it’s up to you to shape yourself.  Growth doesn’t just happen anymore.   Let yourself be, and you will become stagnant.

The Not So Giving Tree

When I was a child, there was an apple tree in our neighbor’s yard.  Since all children love apples, you would think this situation was ideal.  There was just one problem.  No one took care of this sad little tree.

It grew as it wanted,branches and leaves in disarray.  The trunk was covered in ants and the occasional spider.  As for the apples, you’d be hard pressed to find one that wasn’t rotten or filled with worms.

The tree grew and produced fruit naturally, but it wasn’t good fruit.  The tree wasn’t useful or pleasant.  Its base was littered with the rotten apples that eventually fell off its limbs.

What Fruit are You Producing?

You see, purposely or not, you are producing fruit of a sort.  Whether it’s the work you do or the relationships you have, you are giving a part of yourself to the world around you.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself, if you aren’t maintaining your growth and cutting out the crap, then you’re bound to be filled with worms.  All you do is rain down rotten, stanky apples on anyone unlucky enough to encounter you.

It’s Not a Pleasant Experience

I find it quite poetic that the body experiences growing pains.

Growth hurts.

It stretches you.

It pushes your boundaries.

Staying the same is easy.  You get comfortable.  As I mentioned early, when your body stops growing, you don’t have to worry about your clothes not fitting anymore.  But they will wear out.

And you will wear out.

If you don’t grow and move forward, you will begin to fade, rip, and tear.  Holes will form in you.  So what do you do?

Do you push forward, taking the pain that comes with growing?

Or do you wither and die?

Stronger and Stronger

I recently returned to working out.  As much as I love it, exercise is hard.  My body hurts.  I get tired.  But each time I go, I put more weight on the bar.  I push for one more rep.  I go till I’m covered in sweat.

As I get stronger, I push harder.  And the change is slow, but I’m beginning to see the difference.  I’m beginning to feel the difference.

Your life is no different.  In whatever you might be doing, as you are involved in the world, you need to push yourself.

Don’t fade away.

Fight.  Push.  Grow.

It will take time.  It IS going to hurt.  You may not even see the difference, but deep down, you will feel it.  The people around you will notice it.

And the fruit that you produce will be amazing.

Growth needs to happen.

But most of the time, you need to make it happen.

(If you would like to see this site grow, please share this post by clicking here.  Get the next post delivered straight to your email here)

Related Posts:

People Don’t Change